The Canadian Writers' Collective

Writing, and writerly tangents

Thursday, May 17, 2007

PETA in the Morning

By Antonios Maltezos

Well, it’s 4:41 in the AM, and that stupid bird in my tree is whistling again – started a coupla minutes ago. Either he chased out the finches that were there before, and so happy sounding, or one of the great many windy days of the last winter blew the tiny finch nest into the street, and they just didn’t have the muscles to re-stake their claim this spring. Where the heck do finches go in the winter? They’re so small – I just can’t see them flying all the way to Florida. The new bird is a robin (a lawn walker), quite common around here, almost as common as the sparrows, which I’ve come to ignore over the years, along with the crows. Crows are evil. Nobody likes them. Seagulls, too, I ignore, unless there’s a storm coming and they’re riding the updrafts for no bloody reason. Do I like turtledoves? Uhhmm… not really. They don’t do anything, and they look too much like pigeons, only softer. And they’re not too sharp, either. My mother had a turtledove nest right outside her back door, on a pipe or something, at waist level. She felt so privileged until a squirrel came along and flipped the nest over like a poker table. “Ah… there was a terrible fight. She really fought hard,” my mother said. “There were feathers everywhere, and the eggs were smashed on the patio stones.” I don’t like pigeons, either, btw, because of their toxic droppings.

He’s going to keep on singing until I have to get in the shower, isn’t he? He doesn’t know I’m writing a blog and could use some quiet, and that I’ve been up since 2:30 AM because I had to drive my brother-in-law to the airport. “What are you going to write about,” he asked in the car. I said I had no clue, unless something was to happen on my way back from PETA – Pierre Elliot Trudeau Airport.

Nothing happened.


Blogger Anne C. said...

Wow, did you cross paths with Tamara at the airport?

Thu May 17, 07:36:00 am GMT-4  
Blogger Andrew Tibbetts said...

I used to really like birds, but they really are peabrained poo machines aren't they?

In my apartment basement the furniture of the evicted waits in cages, to be released upon... what? Payment? Hand in of keys? I don't know... anyway, there's been an enormous couch that is covered in dung on one side where the bird must have perched. It's a thick and bumpy layer like baked merangue. Somebody must have loved that bird.

Thu May 17, 12:16:00 pm GMT-4  
Blogger J.A. McDougall said...

It's funny that you write about birds today, Tony. For the first spring/summer since we moved here, our yard is full of them! I guess Lucy kept them away in the past. One morning we woke up to find a couple of ducks on the back lawn. The kids were in awe. A "lawn walker" has built a nest under our raised deck and we enjoy watching her bring in the worms to feed her babes. I'm not annoyed by the sounds yet; the novelty is still fresh :)

Thu May 17, 01:04:00 pm GMT-4  
Blogger Tricia Dower said...

Quite a nice bit about nothing happening. You're right about pigeons being none too bright. Wonder why that is.

Thu May 17, 03:31:00 pm GMT-4  
Blogger tamara said...

I was stuck in traffic at 11pm coming in from PETA with my surly taxi driver. Stuck in that causeway connector-y thing. Traffic jam. 11pm. Surly cabbie. Oy vey. I'm glad I didn't have to listen to birds, just french talk-radio. Listening to the sounds but not listening to the words, which was rather soothing, in a way. Don't get me started on starlings. They make me violent.

Thu May 17, 04:05:00 pm GMT-4  
Blogger Chumplet said...

When you said PETA I thought you were going to make the robin into a coat.

Thu May 17, 10:32:00 pm GMT-4  
Blogger Antonios Maltezos said...

Ha! Thanks, guys! I enjoyed all these comments. It's funny, but you get attached to these buggers when they nest close to your home. That lawn walker is the first to greet me when I come home from work.

Fri May 18, 09:08:00 am GMT-4  

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