The Canadian Writers' Collective

Writing, and writerly tangents

Friday, October 20, 2006

The Egyptian Tradition of Yoga


By Anne Chudobiak

“Set your intention for this class,” J. tells us.

“Confidence,” I think, drawing back my shoulders, which are hunched from hours at the computer. I’ve been tackling the hardest genre of them all. Not the novel. The CV.

J. is my favourite yoga teacher. She came to the practice after a bout of anxiety attacks when still in her teens.

“Imagine,” she says, laughing, “what you’d all look like if you didn’t take the time to come to the Y.”

Twenty thirty-somethings running red lights and cursing anti-smoking laws, sucking their thumbs and yelling into cell phones--aimlessly, to no avail. Lululemons.

J. is not my only teacher. There is also L. She teaches bellydancing. She wears tight shirts with obscene slogans (“Ride a Cowboy!). She wears skinny jeans and has for years. For her, they’re not a fad; they’re a staple. She calls us girls.

“Okay, girls,” she says, with a glance over her shoulder. “Lets *#@* this up.”

She tells us that if we want to have more energy we should eat more protein. She herself lives on only eggs, bacon and souvlaki. Her hair is dirty blond and double-jointed, coiled.

She calls our imaginary audience “the victim.” One of the moves is called “Take the money.” She swears that we are learning the Egyptian tradition.

I get cranky if I miss a class.

I can’t write without J. or L.

“It’s so hard,” I whine to a friend.

“I know,” she says. “I wrote my C.V. last week. I got J. to read my statement of intention. Very helpful.”

7 Comments:

Blogger craig said...

this has me laughing and hoping I'll find one of these teachers in a short story of yuors - great characters, Anne!

I took yoga for awhile, incredible experience, I've been meaning to return - I think I'd like L.

Fri Oct 20, 09:18:00 am GMT-4  
Blogger Andrew Tibbetts said...

Characters! I agree. This should wind it's way into a story.

Fri Oct 20, 10:20:00 am GMT-4  
Blogger Anne C. said...

Today L. told us how she spent her second pregnancy in the bush prospecting for gold. She will probably write her own book.

Fri Oct 20, 11:54:00 am GMT-4  
Blogger tamara said...

Heh heh. You Montrealers do 'granole' so much differently than we west coasters ;) I think I'd like these gals, too.

Fri Oct 20, 12:49:00 pm GMT-4  
Blogger Tricia Dower said...

I'm so glad you've discovered yoga, Anne. Sounds like it's working its magic on you. Loved the way you structured this post. Everything is connected yet not connected. The zen of yoga, if it's ok for those two worlds to meet.

Fri Oct 20, 05:15:00 pm GMT-4  
Blogger Patricia said...

I love that she has double jointed hair!!! that's perfect, I love this!! what do you think of the belly dancing??? I've often wondered about that, we have a pole dancing class near us!! my husband is all like, "why would you want to do that?"

great post!!

hope you're having a zen day..xo

Sat Oct 21, 12:37:00 pm GMT-4  
Blogger J.A. McDougall said...

I soooo need to return to class! Thanks for the push. Pole dancing Patricia? You must try that!

Sun Oct 22, 12:22:00 am GMT-4  

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