I got nothing

By Tamara Lee

Call it fatigue; call it laziness. Call it nothing at all.

Or blame it on a long day spent eating mini-donuts and kettle corn and watching Superdogs and Trooper and otherwise imbibing in my annual trip to the Fair.

It has been a long time since I have had nothing to say.

In fact, I’m one of those people other people count on to say something.

Nervous friends have looked to me to break ice at parties, when everyone was sizing up the strangers over the tops of beer bottles and wine glasses; teachers would expect me to have something cantankerous or incendiary, possibly even sensible, to offer when no one else was willing to remark on whatever obscure poem the earnest young professor tried to get us to ‘get.’ I’ve even been taken on friends’ first dates, assuming I’d be able to ease the duo through the early awkward parts and then easily be on my way once the ball got rolling.

Quippy-Comeback Kid: winderup, takerout, senderhome.

Sometimes, though, a person just can’t turn on. You know? And when she’s not on, everyone looks at her as though the batteries are in wrong: she must have just heard her bank account’s been wiped out, or she’s contracted some mysterious illness, “And wouldn’t you like to share with us what’s on your mind?”

Nope. I got nothing. No reason, no matter.

Don’t bang the top of the box; don’t rattle them rabbit ears. This thing ain’t working. Maybe try back later, that usually does the trick.

Quiet or shy folks have it easier, maybe. They can be their quiet selves and no one expects anything more. But gregarious folks, man. Try letting them shut up and suddenly they’re acting ‘funny’, or they get teased mercilessly for acting out of character.

The gregarious writer with nothing to say…

So here I am, saying a whole lot of nothing, about having nothing to say.

Guess some people just don’t know how to shut up.

Either that or they’re committed to their Monday post days, and will think of something, anything, to save us from some sort of awkward pause, or ellipses…


(Image credit: Palagret)